Wore Out

What a busy day! We put out leftover school supplies for people who missed School Readiness sign-ups and everybody and their cousin wanted in on it. I think something like 35 extra kids were served today (in addition to the near-100 served on Tuesday. Was it only THIS Tuesday??)

The most emotionally draining incident happened early in the morning, less than an hour after coming in. A young woman came in wanting help with the past-due amount on her electric bill. She'd just got her child support check that morning (her only income). Added to the $50 CAP could provide she'd just cover the past-due but didn't count on the reconnect fee. Well, CAP can't help out financially if the participant can't assure that the power will be turned back on. When I told her that she needed to come up with $137 more she started crying. As she wiped away tears she told me about her young son - She was glad he wasn't at home when the power was shut off so she wouldn't have to explain it to him. She told me about food rotting because she could only store a little food in her neighbor's fridge. Worst of all, her landlord was coming by in the afternoon, and disconnected power meant an immediate failure and eviction. I didn't know what to say to her. I don't know what any of that is like, and although I try to put myself in that position, I really don't have a clue as to what any of that feels like. Thank God that she went outside and called her grandmother who agreed to loan her the money for the reconnection fee. After I gave her the check she hugged me and said "God bless you" but I didn't feel very good about myself. I felt out of place mostly.

Needless to say, it was a busy day, like most days. We left work a couple hours early, since we worked so long yesterday. When I got back to the house I had a couple cards waiting for me from some lovely friends. :) Keep them coming! I only saw three of my housemates this evening. Jen, Mandy, Karen and I had dinner and then Jen, Karen, and I went into town to get some postcards for Jen to mail back home, and we stopped by the IGA (where they have Ale-8 vending machines and one bottle costs 50 cents!) Random sidenote: While waiting for people I found a ton of Christmas cards and several dreidels in the computer room - as well as other random stuff like sidewalk chalk, floam, badmitton birdies, etc. So now I'm all set for Christmas cards! And Sarah from Mt Vernon House can teach us how to play with the dreidels. Tonight my three housemates and I went over to Mt Vernon House and watched Love Happens with some of the housemates over there. It has good soundtrack (Rogue Wave! Postal Service!) Tomorrow we may be hiking at Cumberland Falls or checking out the Little World Fair in Brodhead (apparently Rockcastle doesn't have a county fair, so this is the stand-in)

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for finally sending my camera! Pictures from tonight:

A Frat House for Jesus

How many hours did you work today? Know how many I worked? Almost 13! But I enjoyed it! I really like that I'm not stuck in an office (at least for the majority of the time). When you're out and about, doing things and seeing people, time goes by much more swiftly.

I didn't even set foot in the office today because Jenny and I drove straight to Gray Hawk (Jackson Co) a little before 8. It's about an hour drive. We spent the rest of the day working with the Jackson and Owsley caseworkers plus a couple other CAP volunteers from Educational and Recreational Programming. Jackson's School Readiness Distribution was today. They do theirs a little differently. Most of the volunteers shopped with a family, so I walked around a lot this morning, riffling through clothes, trying to find the right sizes and the styles the kids wanted. It was much more difficult than it probably sounds! It was nice to be one-on-one with the families. There were some really sweet families there today.

In the afternoon we boxed up the remaining clothes (way too many men's clothes!) and Julia came by with her sisters. Julia is the McCreary Family Advocacy caseworker. So now I've met all the Family Advocacy caseworkers in the Cumberland Valley region, except for one who works out of Clay. I'll meet her in a week or so when we have our big Family Advocacy meeting for both regions at Natural Bridge.

Jen's out of town currently so Jenny was hosting a group this evening. We made dinner (Mom, you wouldn't believe how much cooking I've done in the past 3 weeks) and facilitated a group discussion. The group of younger teens had been working with Elderly Services in the surrounding counties. Some of them really seemed to have been struck by their experiences. However, we also had a couple people - one girl in particular - who were extremely disrespectful and rude! This one girl kept interrupting and was getting on Facebook on her phone, and even told her mother and grandmother (grandmother!!) to be quiet. I was shocked! Jenny and I kept looking at each other like "What the heck?!?" It was awkward and uncomfortable... But, like I said, there were some kids who seemed genuine about their experiences and shared those with us.

Before dinner I was talking to one of the adults about how I came to CAP and she told me that her mother, who is 70, became a missionary after her father died just about 7 years ago. She'd always wanted to do it, and finally she had the opportunity. I said it was great that she knew what she wanted to do and knew her passion, because I don't know mine exactly. The woman said I'd find it one day, but I hope I don't have to wait until I'm 70!

During dinner the kids kept asking me questions. Basically it all boiled down to: Why are you here? It was a slightly challenging conversation to have. Although I feel like I've "explained myself" several times to different people, this time I was really listening to my answers and getting some insight into things. I told them about how I had this plan for the rest of my life (essentially) but I began to realize that I wasn't sure I wanted to live that life. I wanted adventure. Life here is an adventure everyday. But I was terrified because I was on this track and was scared of the unknown. I'm glad I got off that track because I've been learning and growing so much here and in ways I didn't even think about until I came. I didn't realize this was a "weird" or "unusual" thing to do until people started to say so.

One big misconception from the kids was our living situation. I honestly think they thought we lived in shacks without running water. When explaining our community living I told them it was like living in a frat house.... for Jesus.

And because I didn't blog on Wednesday, here's what happened:
In the afternoon, Ross (a Housing crew leader from Jackson) came to Rockcastle and Jenny, Robyn, Ross, and I went to Jim and Reecie's house (the elderly couple that can't hear and gave us blackberries) to assess what Housing may be able to help them with. It was a nice visit, and Reecie even gave one of her quilt's to Ross (His wife had a baby not long ago.) And of course Robyn and Ross each left with their own gallon of blackberries!

I'm hoping to get hearing aids for Jim and Reecie through the Starkey Foundation. I heard about it because of my Aural Rehab class (so there WAS a point to going to class all those long nights!) There is a bit of cost involved (I have no idea where the money's going to come from) and a lot of moving pieces, so there's no guarantee, but I'm really really hoping I'll be able to help them out! Say a little prayer that God will provide!!

School Readiness Distribution and House Meeting

Today was the Rockcastle School Readiness Distribution. Jenny and I got to First Baptist Church at 8:20-ish and there were already about 15-20 people waiting in line. Luckily we didn't have much set-up to do. Robyn and Amy (CAP Volunteer Recruiter and former Family Advocacy/Outreach long-term volunteer) came shortly after and we got underway. I was working the backpack area. It was fun to see some kids get excited picking out their bags. My personal favorite would be the 1st grader who got the Superman backpack (complete w/ cape). His grandma told me he was an honor student. I joked with some of the little boys, trying to get them to pick pink or purple backpacks. Of course there were some difficult moments where a couple kids didn't like any of the bags we had and pouted about it. Even a couple of parents got that way! But overall it was a good experience, and we were all pretty tired by 11:30.

We had a ton of clothes still left over. It's almost overwhelming! Looking at it I started to think of who we could give it all to when it dawned on me, WE are the ones who people give it to! Like, we're not going to give these clothes away to the Goodwill, we ARE the Goodwill! (Not really, but you know...) Crazy!

I did help one little girl with clothes. She was super cute and sweet. She was going through all these dresses, even pulling out ones that I was sure would be either too big or too small. When I mentioned this, she said she could "make any dress fit," explaining that she sometimes has to wear things that are too big. The honesty of this statement struck me sad. She said she couldn't wait til her dad came home from work and saw the pretty outfits she had picked out. It reminded me of the "fashion shows" Carol and I would have for Dad after a day of shopping.

I came home this afternoon to Brianda's neatly made bed, which is unusual. I found out that Brianda left for home today because her ankle (which she broke on Saturday) was not healing properly. It's nice to have a room to myself again, but I'm sorry to see her go so early on. And I know she didn't want to leave this early either. She was really enjoying her position at FLAC.

Tonight was my very first House Meeting, so Kiara (the Volunteer Life Manager for our region) came and made us a yummy dinner and we talked about community - the struggles and benefits. I do feel like I'm becoming more a part of the community, but with so many people (a few of whom work 2nd shift) coming and going it can be really hard to connect. So our challenge for the next few weeks is to have a conversation with all of our housemates (or as many as possible) in order to create opportunities for connecting. I know for a fact that living in this community is the hardest thing about CAP, b/c you are living with people that you have not chosen and of course there is always that one person that just rubs you the wrong way. So I'm dealing with that inwardly, but for the most part I have enjoyed getting to know my housemates (slowly but steadily I think). It's just very different to go from Brescia and Owensboro, where I already had very established friendships, to Rockcastle where the environment is .... just very different for some reason.... I can't really say why right now. But I look forward to the challenge Kiara presented us with!

Front Page News: Stolen Moss

News from the front page of the Mt Vernon Signal: Several dozen bags of stolen moss were discovered! Stolen moss? Yes, and it's a federal offence since this moss happened to come from Daniel Boone National Forest. The short news blurb said that moss is "often used in floral arrangements" and can sometimes be "of some value." hmmmm... Charges are pending for the perpetrator.

Other things that happened today that didn't make the front page:

- A 20 year old girl poked her head in the door and quietly asked for some toilet paper. Her mother passed away last December, and she is raising her brothers, one of which is actually older than she is. She's a waitress at the truck stop diner. She told Jenny that the next time she came she'd "fix you something special."

- We delivered a mattress and boxsprings to a couple named Chillit and Flo. They live in a rough trailer park behind the IGA. Across the gravel road, a skrawny boy stood watching us in red underwear. Later his mother came out and stared at us too. It seemed like a look of distrust.

- Did an EA (Emergency Assistance) mostly by myself. Set up for School Readiness Distribution tomorrow (lots of loading and unloading - backpacks, boxes of clothes and books, etc). Let down by The Bachelorette.

Every Changing Move

Today has been a nothing day - one of those days where you lose track of time and have nothing much to show for it. I'm feeling blah anyways because Olivia left this morning. I miss her already! I can't believe she won't be dancing into my room to talk anymore, or doing bad Paula Deen impressions with me, or calling me for dinner. I will always remember her big smiles, the way she dances when she's standing still, her stories about her mom complaining about "damn Yankee drivers", and the day we were surprised by two huge spiders. I didn't really get to know Olivia until my second week here (the first week was such a huge transition), and I wish we could have had more time together, but then I remembered that originally I wasn't going to come to CAP until August or September, and I would have missed her completely!

Other than seeing Olivia off, the only thing I did today was go to Mass at Our Lady of Mount Vernon (right next door to my office). It was definitely different from CTK or Brescia. First of all, there were only like 35 people there! And several were visitors! (Renfro Valley is in full swing this hot and humid weekend). The priest was a pretty good homilist (not quite as good as Fr Larry though!), but the singing was so awkward. They used a CD and just sang along to a strange sounding praise-and-worship guy. Just not what I'm used to at all... and they sang different songs that I'd never heard (isn't it funny about things like that? They use the exact same hymn book as every other Catholic church I've been to and yet I've never heard these songs!) so I couldn't really sing along anyway. I think I'll try Berea's Catholic church next weekend (same priest does ALL the Masses in this area, so it's a good thing I like his style!)

After Mass a few people came up to me to talk. This one family was just visiting (on their way to Lake Cumberland), but the parents were both former long-term volunteers and the husband actually had my job! So it was cool to talk to them. They kept asking if so-and-so still worked at CAP and which houses were in use and the like. They told me they met through CAP and I was tempted to tell them that the only boy living in the valley currently is retired! haha. The husband was sooo excited to talk to me about CAP. I think he really misses it. At one point he looked at his wife and was like "Maybe we can stop by and see so-and-so." The wife pointed out that they had to leave on Sunday and no one would be in the office during the weekend. I said (half-jokingly, half-not) that they could come by the volunteer house because we were "just hanging out". The husband got a nostalgic look in his eye, smiled and almost sighed, saying, "Yeah, just hanging around, playing cards..." and I knew he was remembering all the good times he had as a volunteer and the friends he had made. I hope I can be as lucky! The wife started to tell me that "Kentucky gets in your blood" and you don't want to leave and always want to come back, but then she interrupted herself and said, "But, of course, you're a Kentuckian, so you know all that!" I don't have a clear view on it, since I've only ever lived in Kentucky, and I don't know if everyone feels this way about their home state, but there does seem to be something about Kentucky that keeps pulling people back.

So my first housemate is gone. As she fights the gravitational pull of Kentucky so she can return to her studies, I prepare for this lifestyle of fluctuating housemates. We are gaining a new long-termer next Sunday (as well as losing another short-termer). In the words of a song I've recently discovered and fallen in love with, "I'll follow you and every changing move" - the "you" of course in this situation being God!

A First for Me and Olivia's Last Day

"What did you learn today, little one?" Jenny asks me as she and Lucas chop vegetables for dinner.

It was a day of experiences! Today was my first day alone in the office. Totally alone. Jenny was out east, Brenda doesn't work on Fridays, and Robyn was taking a vacation day. So it was just me in the whole Family Advocacy side of the Williams Street office. I spent a good chunk of the day reading through the training manual and fielding phone calls about Christmas Basket sign-ups and air conditioners. (One woman had some relatives pick up her A/C at the office today and within the hour her kin were calling about getting one of their own!) But I also had some interesting experiences with a shipment of socks (6 huge boxes), a man wanting a bed, and a man wanting me to help with his disconnect which was going to happen Monday at 8 am (and he called at 4:15 on a Friday!) So yes, I learned a lot today, as I do everyday!

My housemate Karen got back from Disaster Relief today, but Meaghan is still out in Pike County until Wednesday, and Carl and Grace (both of the Mt Vernon House) are staying until next weekend! Karen says it was brutally hot which I can imagine. It's been in the 90's and super humid the whole week, but that's Kentucky summer for you! Apparently Carl, Meaghan, and Grace are all loving it out there. I would be dying!

This evening we went to dinner at a small diner in town (near my office) as a sort of send-off for Olivia. She has been wanting a Vanilla Coke for some time and finally got one tonight. I'm so sad that Olivia is leaving tomorrow morning! She is my first housemate to leave. Although I've only known her for just under two weeks, I'll surely miss her cheerfulness and taste in music. She has promised to send me some mix CDs when she gets back to North Carolina.

On the sidebar you will notice the addition of the "Evolving Housemates" list. Let's see how many people I will have lived with by the time my 11 months are up. For the sake of clarity, I'm only counting people who lived in Rockcastle House (not Mt Vernon House, although I do consider them housemates-once-removed) and short- and long-term volunteers (not prospectives who only stay for a couple days at most).

I think one of the most confusing? weird? interesting? things about my living situation is that I live Kentucky in a house full of people not from Kentucky. Aside from Jay Jay and I, everyone else is from somewhere else, and most aren't from the South at all. Today some of the housemates were teasing me and Jay Jay for the way we pronounce things like crayon (crown), tour (tur), and the like. But before it diverged into that conversation we were talking about the stress that comes with service. It's very easy to help someone that you like, but it is a real test of Christian character to help someone you don't care for - someone who you are almost positive is lying to you, or taking advantage of you. But I'm thankful for people like that, because it causes me to stop and look at my motives for service, to reassess my judgements, and to practice "cheerful giving"

I'll leave you with some kernels of wisdom from the training manual:

Rats and Bugs - When roaches get on you - be cool - shake them out of your clothes and get going.
Roosters - Cockfighting is very common in our culture but not a discussion topic.
Do not lose your sense of humor.

The last one is very important, I'd say!

Sermons, Forklifts, and Bluegrass

I don't know if my life is super interesting, or maybe I just find a lot of things interesting, therefore it seems more interesting to me. Either way, I see/experience things daily that I feel need to be recorded.

The day began with a package from a former pastor up north. In his letter he said he was including some things to be donated as well as the sermons he wrote while in the seminary. The letter was signed

"Our gov't in deep disarray,
In Him,
Ed"

hmmmm... that's the most interesting valediction I've ever seen! And I have no clue what Family Advocacy is going to do with a stack of sermons...

Jenny was in Robyn's office this morning, so I had the privilege of answering the phone when Rich called! Rich and Barb are a retired couple who are Kentucky natives, former long term volunteers, and regular short term volunteers. Jenny told me that they come every year for several weeks to help with Christmas Baskets. I've heard only good (and funny) things about them and I can't wait to meet them in a few months! I talked with Rich a little, and found out that he once played in a scrimmage with the great Mad'villian Frank Ramsey!! Small world...

If you've been following my blog, you should know that I love my job. But sometimes I feel upset when we can't help someone. I think it's a job that really attracts people who want to help and make a difference, so when you can't help someone or change their position it becomes very frustrating. Not that it happens often, but today a woman came in who had just lost her home and was trying to find a place to live. As an organization, CAP just doesn't have the resources to help this woman. It's hard to sit there, looking at this woman who tells you she hates to ask for help but doesn't know what else to do, and you have to tell her you can't help her. Jenny did give her hygiene supplies (which we have quite a bit of). The woman was so appreciative. I liked her, and I really hope that one of the other organization in the county is able to get her some housing. There's just not much here! There's CAP and the local churches (with very limited funds) and one other human services organization (which seems to be limited in similar ways to CAP). Appalachia is the poorest area of the country.. why don't we have more here for people??

After the woman left, Jenny and I went down to Op Share for the third time this week. That's got to be a record! The drive takes about an hour one-way, so it takes a bit of time, but not too terrible. This time we took Robyn's CAP truck so the fridge would fit. Dominic, one of the warehouse guys, helped us secure the fridge, and although I trusted him, it didn't look very sturdy! Jenny and I joked on the drive back about the fridge toppling over, but luckily that didn't happen!

Can I just add: What amazing things you can do with a forklift! There are some seriously skilled forklift drivers in the Corbin Op Share.

This afternoon we delivered the stove and fridge to the family. Jenny had to drive out east right after lunch, but thankfully, Kevin, a CAP employee, happened to be around, so Robyn and I had some extra help. I'm sure he regretted it, because he ended up doing all the work pretty much! Another reason he may have regretted it was because I got us lost and the 15-30 min trip ended up being 2 HOURS! Oh, I got so turned around on those backroads! And we were in two trucks (me with the stove in my truck, and Robyn and Kevin following in her truck with the fridge), with no cell phone service, weaving around backroads looking for this trailer park. I was afraid the fridge would topple over during some sharp turn. But we did find the place eventually and get everything delivered. The woman was very happy and her mini collie was adorable.

Then tonight the house got pizza from this local place called Shaker's and got to go w/ FLAC to one of the Renfro Valley barns for free and hear some bluegrass/old time country music. Not really my style, but nice to get out of the house.

Olivia just left my room after being in here for a couple hours. According to her she just came in to play a French pop song for me and ended up staying much longer. haha. I will miss her! She's leaving Saturday, so tomorrow we're going out to eat in Mt Vernon and watching Titanic (which we found on VHS in the Rockcastle House video collection). Housemates coming and going... who can understand it but those of us living it!